Why we love....and other unanswerable questions...
Most of us have been there at one point; the ones who haven't will get theirs, eventually.
There you are, innocently sitting there eating your Cheerios, or some other tasty snack, when it hits you. That flash of lightning that zips through your brain, jump starts your heart to the point of acrobatics, and sends the corners of your mouth into that half-circle of upward idiocy because that stupid grin won't stop spreading.
An image of your beloved burns itself into your brain like a cheap plasma TV screen. Yup--it's love, and its got you in its grips. Muu ahhhhhahhhh.
If none of this sounds familiar to you--don't worry--you simply have no soul. ;) Just kidding--like I said, you'll get yours and it'll be just as described only maybe with different metaphors. Not ever being privvy to this feeling does not preclude you from this blog question, though; no doubt, you've seen what looks like and that's as much as you need for this assignment.
First, define love. Nbd. Thousands upon thousands of poets, essayists, philosophers and the like have all tried to come up with a working definition--whose to say their version is better than yours? Do your best.
Have you ever been in love, or known someone who has?
Did their behavior change? Did yours?
Why do you think we are attracted to those we are?
What do you look for in potential relationships?
What is your idea of a "perfect" relationship?
Who taught you about love?
What is your earliest memory of "seeing" love? Does that memory affect how you view the idea of love?
And, finally, what will you teach your future sons and daughters about the idea of love and relationships?
There you are, innocently sitting there eating your Cheerios, or some other tasty snack, when it hits you. That flash of lightning that zips through your brain, jump starts your heart to the point of acrobatics, and sends the corners of your mouth into that half-circle of upward idiocy because that stupid grin won't stop spreading.
An image of your beloved burns itself into your brain like a cheap plasma TV screen. Yup--it's love, and its got you in its grips. Muu ahhhhhahhhh.
If none of this sounds familiar to you--don't worry--you simply have no soul. ;) Just kidding--like I said, you'll get yours and it'll be just as described only maybe with different metaphors. Not ever being privvy to this feeling does not preclude you from this blog question, though; no doubt, you've seen what looks like and that's as much as you need for this assignment.
First, define love. Nbd. Thousands upon thousands of poets, essayists, philosophers and the like have all tried to come up with a working definition--whose to say their version is better than yours? Do your best.
Have you ever been in love, or known someone who has?
Did their behavior change? Did yours?
Why do you think we are attracted to those we are?
What do you look for in potential relationships?
What is your idea of a "perfect" relationship?
Who taught you about love?
What is your earliest memory of "seeing" love? Does that memory affect how you view the idea of love?
And, finally, what will you teach your future sons and daughters about the idea of love and relationships?
This is exceptionally easy for me because today my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. So love is essentially knowing that you would do anything to keep someone or something happy, healthy, close by. It’s exhilarating and draining all at once to be quite honest. For example, I love all of my pets but taking care of all five of them is exhausting. I don’t know if I’ve been in love, I can’t honestly say if I am now, which probably means I’m not. I know for sure that there are about 5 people I deeply care about, yes my boyfriend is one of them, but I know love when I see it. My mom loves her boyfriend very very much, to the point where absolutely no one else matters and when he realized this he stopped caring about how he treated my sister and I and so did my mom. He is supreme rule in the house that doesn’t belong to him and over the kids that aren’t his. People aren’t always attracted to what makes them happy, it’s really weird, but some people just like what’s bad for them and I personally can’t understand that. I’m attracted to people who make me happy and make me feel like I’m as light as a feather and worry free and even though that has made me forget to do a couple assignments recently, I don’t regret spending time with them, I do regret not doing my work but anyway… People who help me let go for a couple hours and just breathe and laugh and watch the clouds or the sun glisten off the lake are the people I’m attracted to. My idea of a perfect relationship is stress-free, but honestly I don’t mind being frazzled for a bit because it always ends up being worth it. I like reality and feel of things that aren’t fake relationships are supposed to be “80/20” and friend of mine explained this to me. About 80% of this person is everything you’ve ever wanted and 20% is little things like their a little messy or something but they are absolutely worth it and little things eventually melt away like background music at a crowded stadium. I’m fairly certain my sister taught me about love but not like in a lesson plan kind of way or anything like that, but in a live-action kind of way where she’d sing me to sleep at night or help me brush through my curly hair cause I was too impatient as a kid. My earliest memory of love was her doing crafts with me around Christmas time just spending time with me. I definitely think it makes me appreciate simpler things I feel like a lot of “valid” displays of affection are advertised as objects and that just completely destroys the point of love by throwing it at an object. When I’m older I definitely want to teach my children to love for character and how the person treats them and makes them feel, not the objects they might be given or the way someone looks, I want them to evaluate the character someone has and not just how they treat them but others around them cause eventually that will come back to them the way it has with my mom.
ReplyDeleteI don’t know what love is. My idea of it changes as I do, I’ve thought I was “in love” a few times. It’s currently 2:32am on a Tuesday morning, I have school in five hours and I’m lying awake starring at the ceiling, about 50 feet deep in the ocean that is my feelings. So, I thought I’d write my blog instead of tossing and turning for another hour.
ReplyDeleteSo love, here is my definition: Love is often labeled as “romantic” however it’s not. Love is closely linked with romance however, love on its own has nothing to do with romance or sex or any of that bs. Love is simply caring about someone so much that being around them can make your day. There are certain people I’ve come across in my life that I can’t help but smile around; I get so goofy and excited in their presence. Sometimes you don’t realize you love someone until they’re gone and you’re forced to picture the world without them by your side. To me, love is just caring about someone on a deeper level. And when I love someone I depend on them for happiness and that’s kind of deadly.
To be “in love” is different than just loving someone. For example I love my mom but I’m not “in love” with her, that would be gross. When your “in love” romance is a part of the equation. I’ve dated three boys and all of them have said they loved me. Two of them said it only two weeks after we met. I was hesitant to say it back because “Love” is a strong word and if you use it incorrectly you can provide someone with a false sense of security. You cannot love someone you just met, part of love is the memories and experiences you share. I distinctly remember (in both situations) replying with an “I LIKE you” to their “I love you”’s. The third boy, I’d already been through so much with by the time he said it, in fact we had broken up months ago when he told me. If I’m being honest I think that boy #3 was the only one I ever truly loved. My relationship with this person has affected me a lot which is hard to even admit. It’s affected some of my friendships, it’s affected the way I feel about love and throughout the past year I’ve known this person I’ve changed drastically. And I’d be lying if I were to say that I don’t still care about this person because when I love someone I love them with everything I have, and this pertains to friendships as well. On a separate note I just lost a best friend and it hurts like hell.
A “perfect” relationship for one, nonexistent because perfect isn’t realistic; there’s no such thing as a fairytale or happily ever after, although if you’re lucky enough you’ll get pretty damn close to a Cinderella love story. But a good relationship involves commitment, honesty, loyalty, and just two people who bring out the best in each other.
Everything I’ve learned about love I saw on tv, or read in books. Everything I’ve learned about heartbreak I learned from watching my mother cry and watching my father move from the couch, to an apartment, and then in with his girlfrien- wait no fiancé, my bad. My parents used to be in love but I was too young to remember. I grew up watching my father lose passion and watching my mother chase it. They have only been divorced for about fourteen months but the spark died years ago. The last time they exchanged anniversary gifts must have been when I was twelve.
Love is quite honestly a dangerous game, especially for me. The people I love become a part of my support system and when I no longer have their shoulder to cry on it crushes me inside and I’m trying to learn to hold my ground. The funny thing is that you can love someone with everything in you but there is still no guarantee that they will love you in return. It’s beautiful and wonderful to surround yourself with those you love, but things can quickly go downhill when people bail on you. I will teach my children to love unconditionally but never to depend on people for happiness.
I met my boyfriend February 20th, 2017 of my Sophomore year, and it was the happiest moment of my life to b able to talk to him and date him almost a week after becoming friends. He was always in my French class, which is full of seniors because of some stupid situation (I took French in my middle school days when I was in Virginia - so they put me in French 2 Freshmen year, and now I'm in French 4). For the first year and most of the second year, we didn't even acknowledge each other, mainly because I was a shy girl (still am, at times) and from what he said, he couldn't find a good way to start conversation with me. So it wasn't until the teacher had him sit behind me in February last school year, and he just jumped into a conversation with me. After about 15 days, we ended up admitting how we felt about each other. We're still dating up to this very moment and for almost a year now. We've been saying "I love you" to each other since only a while after dating, and it feels right.
ReplyDeleteWords cannot express my love for him enough. I know I've changed for the better, too. I just know this is what love must feel like. It feels as if I cannot do anything that's obviously impossible. It feels as if he's built the sun for me. I haven't felt this way about anyone before now. I've had three guys throughout my life ask me out, and I had to do my best to let them down nicely. I didn't feel anything towards them.
I believe people are attracted to different kinds of people based on themselves. Some are attracted because of looks, others are attracted because that person did something nice for them, and some are purely just attracted for the heck of wanting dating someone. What I really just want for in my relationship is for my boyfriend to be kind and caring of my feelings, but not to put himself down either, and give me some love while I give him more of mine because he definitely deserves more. Basically for me, what I DON'T want is abuse and neglect, everything else that I named above is what I already have, so I'm beyond grateful. There is never a perfect relationship: couples will argue and have disagreements, but if they truly love each other, they'll learn to forgive and forget.
I didn't exactly get taught how to love, I'm kind of self-taught. My best friend (ex-best friend) dated plenty of guys when we were in 4th grade, 5th grade, and middle school, and all the way up to now, although I'm sure there'll be more soon enough. Now that I think about it, it seems like most of my family has had some sort of dating issue. I have three older sisters, two older brothers, and a little sister (she's innocent for now: but she's already saying that she'll get a boyfriend when she's a teenager).
One of my older sisters, Alexis, has had so many boyfriends that I couldn't keep track of them. I do know that almost all of them had done her wrong and she ended up crying over the breakup or crying because they did something really, really awful. My other older sister Jasmine ended up pregnant with her boyfriend, and a while after having her baby, her boyfriend shot himself. I feel so bad for my niece, she wont' have a father, and Jasmine isn't the best of mothers, sometimes driving all the way here to "visit" us and leaving her daughter with us while she goes and parties somewhere at some bar or club.
I've never seen love at all, honestly, not even really with my own parents, romance-wise. They don't seem to act like they romantically love each other, but they don't hate each other, either. If I do ever have any children, I want to make sure they understand that love isn't something rushed or forced. It can make you cry like mad and it can also make you feel the most joyful you'll ever feel. There's no definition for love in my opinion, but on the inside, there's a different definition of love for everyone out there.
Being in love with someone means feeling completely secure in their presence while also having a deep connection with them. While I have not been in love before, a few of my friends have said they were in love with whoever they were dating at the time. For some of them, I haven’t noticed a change in their behavior, however I have known people who have become more distant and excluded themselves or have become more irritated and frustrated than normal. I feel like people are attracted to people who they feel are their equals. Although there are times in everyone's life where they find themselves drawn to “the bad boy/girl”, but I think this is just a form of rebellion because many parents are not the biggest fan of the “bad” type. Since that was just a phase, my values have changed for relationships. On top of the list is honesty, loyalty, and thoughtfulness. I also need someone who is just as open minded as me because I refuse to be with someone dense and ignorant. A perfect relationship is not where everything goes right, it’s where when things go wrong, the two people fight their problem together and come out of the situation better.
ReplyDeleteI fortunately had two parents that are still together and they have stayed together because they love each other so they are my earliest memory of love. I would say seeing their relationship gave me a guideline for how a marriage should be however there was a misconception. My parents are highschool sweethearts, so my entire life I thought I’d find the love of my life when I was 15 like they did. Now being almost 17, I have yet to find Mr. Right and feel as though I’m far from finding him.
The number one thing I will teach my kids about love is to love whoever they want. I feel like it’s important to let them know that if they find themselves questioning their sexuality that they shouldn’t be afraid to talk about it with me. This is another reason why my husband needs to be open minded. I cannot be preaching all of this to my kids, but have my husband be shaming gay individuals. I will also tell them everything I have said in this response such as “you should feel safe with the person, they should be honest with you and you should be able to trust them”, that sort of thing.
Love is caring unconditionally for someone who doesn’t deserve it. Love is hold someone in high regard who has practically done nothing. Love is spending every waking hour thinking and talking about someone who is imperfect in every way. Being in love means so many different things and can be used in so many different ways. I don’t think I’ve been in love, I’ve had all those fuzzy feelings for a guy just like everyone else has before. But I don’t think I can say I’ve been in love. Its almost been a fear of mine for awhile, I have spent countless hours on the phone with broken hearts and angry souls. After so many phone calls I’ve become some what fearful of what love can do to a person, especially me. I love so many people, my family members,friends, role models and acquaintances. I give my heart to anyone and everyone, its kind of always who I’ve been. I tend to always find things to love in people rather than hate. Which sounds like a boasting thing but its not it is really just who I am unfortuantly. Which means I am subjected to getting my feelings hurt when people don’t see the way I do. Which is why I come to fearing the kind of love shared only in relationships. Of course I know people who are in love, my two closest friends Jazlyn and Kayla. When my friends find a relationship is becoming long term they become all kinds of different. They start seeing the way their partner sees, talking the way they talk and things that normally make them mad don’t anymore. They almost become a carefree happy, the kind of happy you find in people who might be on drugs. The way they view things becomes all out of sorts and all of the sudden you don’t even know who your friends with anymore. My one friend Kayla in particular almost completely lost her sense of humor. She has a very dry humor, dark jokes kind of person and all of that seemed to fade away when she got a boyfriend. Her boyfriend is kind of a sensitive person and didn’t agree to much with her jokes she just dropped them.
ReplyDeleteIt made her a really different person for awhile she became just kind of blunt and rude.But it wore off after awhile luckily. I once read an article that said we often fall in love with people who remind us of our family members. Which makes sense from what I’ve seen from my friends. Jazlyn’s boyfriend acts like her dad and Kayla’s boyfriend acts like her dad. Girls who like guys want their significant others to resemble that of the people who make them feel safe and secure. When I do find myself falling in “love” with a guy I often quickly realize their personality is similar to my brother Gabriel. Gabriel is an interesting character, he thrives off being annoying. He has always been a jock and hes always been popular, but he has also always been so kind. He has a warm heart and deeply cares for other people. Without a doubt always puts smiles on peoples faces. Gabriel is very silly and bases most of his jokes off of the actual dumbest things. Those are the type of guys I always find the ones I like even now. In a potential relationship I look for growth, when I mean growth I mean I look for a relationship where we help each other grow. We work together to make each other better people and the best possible versions of ourselves we can be. I don’t want to be dating some dunce who does nothing for me and can’t have intellectual conversations with me. A perfect relationship to me would be that my partner is my best friend. That we are supportive of each other and just truly love each other. I am really actually love, really seriously happy with each other in every way possible. The kind of love where you know this was the best decision you’ve ever made. The kind of love where if all else falls in love you can always fall back on them. The kind of love where every morning you know its going to be a good day because they love you. God taught me love, the bible really. That love is mean’t to be unending and unconditional, love is something that wakes you up in the morning. Love keeps you safe, love wakes you up and tells you its going to be okay. My earliest memory of love is waking up my mom in the middle of the night and seeing her tired face, the face of someone so stressed, someone who spent the entire day working and taking care of their five kids, filled with such love and concern. Her face wasn’t always like this but I remember when it was. Seeing my mom get up and unholy hours and sit on the couch with an anxiety ridden child and wait till I fall asleep again. It does effect how I view love, my mom never had to help me, my sister when she was my age never had these issues my mom could have very well just sent me back to bed ( which she did sometimes). The love people have is incredible we can love the absolute worst people in the whole world and most amazing. I don’t actually plan on having kids but if I did, I would teach my kids that love is valuable. Some people never get to experience love in their life Which is why you should always love people. People who are awful and just seem to be heartless are in need of love. They have a heart that was never nurtured and further hurting it only results in more pain for other people. Love with no limits.
ReplyDeleteWhat is love? Love to me is having burning passion for somebody and looking through their wrongs just to see their rights. Love has no boundaries for anyone and makes people do crazy, stupid things. For me, I have been in love or said I have, but sometimes I think to myself if I really experienced love. In fact my friend is in love and the way I see it he is head over heels for his girl. When he talking about her he can’t stop and smiles the whole time. It definitely changed him for the better and I love seeing that.
ReplyDeleteEveryone ha their own turn ons in a girl/guy. Some people are attracted to looks and others personality. What I look for in a relationship is for someone to give me attention, not be down all the time, willing to try new things, and a person that is adventurous. Trust and loyalty are also a big thing because I wouldn’t want someone that sneaks behind my back. A perfect relationship is almost impossible. Every relationship has its ups and downs and they get resolved. The whole part about having a relationship is seeing if you can get through the toughest times together and still be strong for each other.
Love was taught ever since I was born. It was taught in movies, books, and also by my parents. My earliest memory of seeing love was seeing it fade away. When I was going into my Sophomore year of high school my parents split. It made me reminisce on the times I saw that they actually loved each other. Like the times they would talk about their day at the kitchen table or laugh about a joke one made. Or even hugging in the kitchen… the little things. When I grow up I want my sons and daughters to experience true love. I want to grow old with my husband and have our children look up to us and say they want what we have. They will learn throughout their life different loves and it is just something they can hang on to.
The true definition of love in verb form is to feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone or something. Love is all around, though love is hard to find. People experience love in different ways, love could also mean (noun) an intense feeling of deep affection. You could love people, places, things, animate objects, inanimate objects, thoughts, feelings,a moment, ANYTHING at all, love comes in all shapes and sizes. Growing up we believe if you love something it would love you back, or say, “I love you” and who ever you said it too is supposed to say it back also. From early ages we say it to our parents and we receive their unconditional love in return, because no love will be like a mother’s to their own child’s, after all they were the one to go through the agonizing pain of birth or even the pregnancy process, their baby is the closest thing to them, it’s literally half of them, which is also made up of half the other person they love. Though those relationships sometimes don’t last. Families get broken all the time, divorce or other interferences come into play and families fall apart. As we grow out of only loving our parents we start to love other people, too. It starts with siblings and friends, someone who shares common interests or ideas, as we get closer to these people we build an attachment which could turn into love. Sometimes there's love lost in this bond of people and these friendships are lost. As we mature even more, we tend to fall in love with people, a significant other, in which you form a bond: to grow together, to make each other unconditionally happy, to experience new things with, to have and to hold in good times and in bad, someone who looks past your faults, someone whom you have no boundaries with.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I’ve experienced love on numerous different levels. For example, the love I have for my family is on a totally different level than my friends. My family is an unconditional love I was born with, it's almost as if I have to love them. Then my friends are the people that make my world go round, without them i don't have happiness or comfort. But on a higher level the love I have for a “significant person” has been through the roof and i would do anything for these people. Truly, any person I’ve ever had a “thing” with I think i have loved. I've loved each person on their own level and gained experience from loving them. I’ve fallen in love with the way someone spoke, or the way another listened to me, and even the way i've been held. Though, I’ve never been in an actual relationship, I feel as if I’ve never been loved back because these situations have never worked out. I’m not sure if it's because i fall too hard, if they just want something temporary, or maybe it’s their way of showing lust. Just recently I started dating someone and no, I'm not in love with him yet, but I’ve been in love with moments I’ve had with him. And I hope to one day be beyond in love with him. I hope this never fades.
I tend to look for someone to fill my empty heart, to mend me back together. I’ve lost so much in my life, pretty much anyone that comes into my life willing to be there, i will love. In relationships, I don’t care if you’re the best looking, as long as you care about me, I will care about you. Everyone has their type, but what's the sense in going after everyone the same? Experience new things with different people. To me, as long as you’re smart, respectful, genuine, and open to new opportunity/ experiences, you got me. To me there is no definition of perfect, it's whatever you're happy with. Currently, it's a muscular ginger boy that drives a white manual car, just because it sounds “manly”. It’s also the boy that walks into my house and shakes my grandfather's hand and introduces himself before I could even shut the door. Its stupid dates to Walmart, or coming over to help me with my lit term project. The definition of perfect varies and will always change, but right now I wouldn't want this relationship to go any other way.
I haven't had the best influences when it comes to love in my family, everyone has broken up/ divorced, remarried, and gone completely crazy in relationships, but the one relationship that stood still the whole time i've been alive was my grandparents. No, they weren't each other's first loves or even marriages, and it's not even my mom's dad but they still loved eachother more than i've ever seen in my life. As a step dad or even a step grandfather he didn’t have to love my grandmoms children he chose to, for the sake of my grandmom. Almost, 33 years ago, they got married, and a few years before that they met. I’ve heard the story of how they met probably a million times because it's my favorite, in fact, my grandfather still owns the bright blue shirt my grandmom was wearing the night they met. Even when my grandmom was coming out of surgery she told this story because that was the day they met all these years ago. My grandfather grew up without loving parents and he found all the love he needed from my grandmom. As my grandmother passed away in June from cancer it broke my grandfather, as he slept with her for the night she was in the hospital, as this was the first tear i’ve ever seen him cry, as he broke, and as he hunched over her coffin at her funeral. This is what love is to me, he brings flowers to her grave every single week, and says “hey babe” as we drive past her cemetary. This is what I expect in a relationship. I understand this won't happen now and it's a different generation, but one day in the future. This is what I expect my kids to want too, I hope my poppop will be alive to tell my kids the story of how they met, and all the silly things they did together. I hope my kids will never be hurt over stupid boys/ relationships like I’ve been, and I pray my kids have good role models for what love should look like from their mother and father. I pray they’re not scared to love like I was, and I pray they won’t spend restless nights crying over pathetic relationships.
ReplyDeleteLove is a feeling, an emotion you feel towards someone that is so strong you need them. You never want to have to feel what it’s like without them and you just are so fascinated with one character. I personally have never been in love but my parents most definitely are and I aspire to be with someone my whole life like they are. My parents have met October 1, 1989 and have been married since November 4, 1999. Ever since I was a little girl I have wanted the love that my parents had. I never knew the person they were before being in love because they have been together since before I was born. I don’t know if their behavior changed but mine has always remained the same especially with my image of what love should be. I think we are attracted to people based on how we mesh. Initially looks usually draw one in however once you meet someone and get to know them it usually makes you more attracted to them. In a potential relationship I have a habit of looking in the future and if something seems to not make sense further on I start to question things and sometimes will drift away. However sometimes I will proceed with the relationship hoping that whatever happens is for the best. I don’t think there is such thing as a perfect relationship although a healthy relationship has two people that care about each other enough to hear each other out and put effort in the relationship to make things work through whatever. My parents taught me love because of the early example they set, they made me believe that true love does exist and I strive to have something as strong as they do because no matter what may happen; whether they need some space or have an argument they wouldn’t trade what they have for the world so I value my family and the love we all have for eachother because it gave me a strong view of what love should be.
ReplyDeleteLove is a crazy thing. It can change the world, or your world out of nowhere. People do things they never thought of because of it. I haven’t found love in the way I want yet, but I’ve defiantly experienced it. People in love don’t think very much sometimes. They can ditch their best friends who they’ve grown up their entire lives with for one person they’ve known for a few months. The people were attracted to range in two different categories. One is physical, and the other is emotional. You immediately attracted to people who have the physical traits you want in a person, but you can like someone you used to dislike by hearing what they say, learning their personality, and connecting with them emotionally. When I look for someone, they have to be a person who I’m immediately attracted to when I look in their eyes, it has to be someone who loves to laugh at me, themselves, or others with me, it has to be someone who understands life the same way I do, and I have to be able to trust them with everything. A perfect relationship is one where you two are able to easily forgive each other just by apologizing because deep down you know how much the little things can’t hurt your relationship, a perfect relationship consist of knowing what the other person wants, is going to say, and thoughts without them having to say it because you know them so well; a relationship so ideal that you know when to give space, when to be closer, and understand how they feel all the time. I wasn’t taught about love I learned what love was. First through the movies, then in person. I think it was my grandmother and grandfather where I saw what love truly was. How could people love each other for so long, and I understood it. My children would need to know that love is something that happens naturally, that is mutual, and powerful. You’ll know you’ve found true love when you willing to give up everything to be with them.
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ReplyDeleteLove is the connection between souls. Love is not forced, either. It is something that comes naturally when you least expect it. If you have to force it, it’s not love. I feel as though we are attracted to people we admire; not for their looks, but for the strengths they have that we lack. I also feel as though we are attracted to certain vibes the person gives off, and that we are attracted to the ways people touch us without physically touching us.
ReplyDeleteBeing in love changes your perspective on a lot of things. Every beautiful thing I encounter in my life, I want my person there to experience it with me.
If I would’ve been asked a little over a year ago what I would look for in a potential relationship, I would simply tell them that I’m looking for a unique bond. Once you have a bond with someone, that bond stands out from the bonds you have with others. I would also tell them that I want honesty; no secrets, no lies.
No relationship is “perfect”. There are going to be bumps in the road from time to time. How you both handle the bumps, and what you both agree on doing when bumps occur/to prevent the bumps from occurring is what makes a lasting relationship.
My parents indirectly taught me about love. Watching my parents for the few years they were together before they separated is my earliest memory of “seeing” love. I learned that love meant acceptance, and accepting the flaws of the other person. I learned that love meant communication, and working problems out then and there and compromising on most things. Most importantly, what I learned from love is that no amount of love can “fix” a person. No amount of love that my mom could ever give to my dad would fix the problems he had involving alcohol and drugs. From this, I learned that love is about putting other people before yourself, and from that, I learned that love can be toxic. I’ve been in one toxic relationship that lasted a little over 7 months, which feels like 7 years in such a toxic relationship. It was so draining; mentally and emotionally. No matter how much I thought I loved that person, I had to stop putting them first and put myself first. Today, I am happier and healthier than I’ve ever been, thanks to the person who came into my life and promised me they weren’t going anywhere and showed me what love really is and what being in love feels like. I’m so blessed to have found my person at 16 years old, and I can’t wait to tell my future son/daughter about love and how I found it without even looking.
True love is unconditional, crazy, passionate and beautiful all at the same time. Personally i've never experienced love though I have seen it and no I don't mean the makeout sessions in the Oakcrest hallway. I know someone who was completely in love though they were so consumed in the relationship they failed to recognize their other relationships with their friends and family. From what i've seen people tend to stick to one type of person whether it's the athlete or the mathlete. To be honest i'm still trying to figure that out I guess it stems from your personality and interests. If I were to get into a relationship I would look for honesty and trust. I picked those two because I believe in order to have a successful relationship you must be able to trust the person and be completely honest with them. The earliest moment that I can remember is my grandma and her ‘friend’ Matt ( I think it was her boyfriend) anyway I never met my grandpa because he passed away before any of my cousins were born though Matt stepped in and helped my grandma. I remember going to her house and him always being there and the smile my grandma would have on her face I didn't realize the love she had for him until he passed away and since then her smile has never been the same. Love scares me because the thought of loving someone so much and then losing them I just don't think I would be strong enough to handle it. When I have children I would teach them that love is unconditional, amazing though also not to fear it because I wouldn't want them to fear it like I do.
ReplyDeleteMy definition of love is that love is a deep and very emotional attraction to anything that we really really like.
ReplyDeleteYes I have been in love before, and yes during that period, my behavior did change during that time but not drastically.
The reason we are attracted to such things is because they have the characteristics or qualities that we like and enjoy.
What I look for in a potential relationship now is someone that I can just hang and vibe with, they always got my back and I always got there’s supporting us together through thick and thin, and through the ups and downs.
My idea of a perfect relationship is honestly I can’t think of one, because to me there really isn’t a perfect relationship, there always going to be argument’s and problems that you get through together, which is what makes the relationship perfect.
Who taught me about love was my family, and media such as tv, movies, and books. While at the time growing up, I didn’t understand the true meaning of it outside of family.
Earliest memory of seeing love was about when I was 5 and it was during a movie, this memory to me now doesn't affect my viewpoint of what love really is because back then love didn’t have a big significance to me at that age.
What I would teach my future seeds about love and relationships is that, just be you and do your thing and that they come and go just enjoy it while it lasts.
Love can be defined as many things by many different people based on their personal experience and preferences. I’m don’t really have a set definition for love but I think it’s when you can always have fun with them, don’t care about their imperfections, and their presence and themselves as a whole gives you happiness. Though, some people can confuse love with infatuation. I have never really been in love in the past but that could change soon with my girlfriend. One of my best friends is in love and they have been dating for four years. Frankly I don’t know if their behavior has changed because they have been dating longer than I have even been friends with him. I think attraction is both primitive in its nature and influenced by experience. Some things just can’t be explained such as someone attraction to people with blonde hair. But another person may surround themselves with friends who make them laugh so they are attracted to people who make them laugh. What I look for in a potential relationship is loyalty, sense of humor, and someone who genuinely likes me for me and enjoys my presence. Though cliche, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. But I think of it as a 60/60 relationship. When both people try to make 60% of the 100% of the effort in the relationship, it overlaps and both parties will always feel embraced and loved. I have never really been taught about love. Maybe that’s part of the reason I’m not really familiar with it. My I am lucky to have parents that are in love. Since October 1st they have been married for 20 years and have dated for years before that. It brings a smile on my face when I see my dad still making my mom laugh uncontrollably every day after all these years. I would teach my children that they should be careful with relationships. To not dive too deep too quick because it can backlash. Most importantly they should have fun and not think about it too much. Stay light and live life.
ReplyDeleteLove is 1000% involuntary. No one wakes up one morning and says “wow I think I'm going to go fall in love today” and if you do.. you're lying. Anyway, to me, love is something that can't be bought, sold, or traded for anything of that such. Love is one word with a million different emotions and meanings attached to it. Each meaning is different depending on who you are. For example, some people may find love to be the greatest thing in all of God’s creation, while others feel as if love is worse than stubbing the side of your pinky toe on the leg of the coffee table. Love itself can also make you feel and do crazy things, but being IN love.. that's a whole different story. I can speak from personal experience when I say that being in love can change your behavior and change your whole perspective on things. For me, I feel like every beautiful thing I see or do in life, I want my person there to experience it with me. I think we get so strongly attracted to people like this for many different reasons. For example if someone is always giving off good vibes and is always there for you when you need it then that can be attractive in a sense. Another example is if that person shows you that your “bad days” are just bad days and gives you more than enough reasons to value the good days; than that can be attractive as well. Looks also play a role but say you find someone who has a face “handcrafted by the angels” and their personality doesn't match and is a complete sh*t show- that's just an all around disappointment.
ReplyDeleteIn a relationship, I look for trust, honesty, (has to laugh at my jokes; if you don't that's just not cool) and someone who I can build with mentally and spiritually. I believe that's the idea of a “perfect” relationship but at the same time I don't really think there is a such thing as a perfect relationship. Every relationship will run into a couple problems down the road but how you chose to handle them is what reveals the type of person you are and that's another thing I look out for. Another thing to keep in mind is that love isn't always sunshine and rainbows. There are downsides but as long as you both are on the same page and have good communication; there shouldn't be anything to worry about. One downside is how fast it can fade and before you know it the two people who fell in love so easily can fall out of love just as fast. I know this because I dealt with a situation like this with my parents. They fell out of love when I was a kid so I was never really ‘taught’ what love was. Although, not to brag, but for someone who wasn't taught about love or what it was; I'm in a pretty freaking great relationship and I couldn't ask for things to go any other way.
Love can be described in so many different ways. Some will say that love makes your heart pound and your palms sweaty and your stomach flutter. Others say it makes warmth spread all the way to your toes and puts your mind at ease and makes everything else make sense. For me, love just clicks. Both times I have been in love were like that. You don’t think about it, it’s just there. It doesn’t have to be right away, but once you realize that it’s there it settles into your stomach like your favorite meal. You want to do nothing but tell them and show them how much they mean to you. Love to me is when you hang out for two days straight but as soon as you leave you miss them again; when you can’t help but try to do anything and everything to make them happy always. For others, this could be the complete opposite of what love means. We all experience it in different ways. However, if there is one feeling anyone who loves someone else will always feel: unshakably fierce loyalty and protectiveness. Whether it’s familial, platonic, or romantic, love will never allow you to willingly/purposely hurt or let anyone else hurt someone you feel strongly for.
ReplyDeleteWhen in a relationship, I simply look to be understood, respected, valued, and appreciated. I feel that the best relationship has that from both people. It won’t always be
rainbows and sunshine, people make mistakes and they have to learn from them in order to become that significant other we all want and wish to be. But if you have the four things that I think a relationship should have, it will all work out if you want it to. No person or relationship is perfect, but knowing what you want will always make it a great one. Many will say that knowing what they want from a person means what their “type” is. I think that’s crap because you’ll never find a person that has every single thing you want from the get-go. Love is a give-take kind of thing. Two people must work together to make sure a relationship thrives and lasts, and that means working through what pisses you off and those three little things you can’t stand that they do.
I don’t think I have any specific first memory of love and no one really taught me about love. I really just would read a lot of stories that had to do with relationships and love and I sort of applied the things I would agree with what was important in those fictional relationships. And then I had my first relationship (that really counted) and I fell in love. The relationship followed its course and in the end, I had time to understand why my boyfriend and I had truly broken up and what we both had done wrong. In my current relationship, I try to always keep in mind the mistakes that occurred before and avoid them now (like lack of communication). Even though, I never had a true breakdown of love I’d like to make sure I can give that to my kids. I want them to see me and their other parent as prime examples of how two people should treat each other if they are committed to one another. I want to make sure they understand self-love before that try to love someone else since that will make so many things so much easier in the long run.
There are so many different kinds of love and being in love is a completely different thing than loving someone to me, and each of them have a different definition but a general explanation for love would be accepting someone for their faults and being there for them no matter what, regardless of your relationship status. Love is being able to be yourself and knowing you won’t get any bad repercussions from it. A lot of people doubt my peers and I’s ability to love, including other more judgement peers of mine, because of our age and our age being the only factor. I can honestly say that I’m not sure I’ve been in love and I feel like that means I haven’t if I don’t know. Between the only two relationships I’ve been in, I hadn’t loved myself enough to be able to love someone else as well, letting them fill that emptiness within myself. This left me extremely reliable on them to never stop doing so because both times the love was lost, the generous hole in my self love was empty once again and I crashed hard, I was broken and I felt lost with no purpose. What I had, if it was love, completely changed my behavior and I am not proud of it. Before her and I were even dating, I began shutting out my friends and even though it was unintentional it was still inexcusable but I didn’t realize it was happening at the time. By the time we were a month into our relationship, I was only talking to my friends because we rowed together and if you were one of my friends who didn’t row, I only really talked to you when I saw you at school except for one person who I and my ex were very close to. Her behavior towards me definitely changed for the better but towards people who were only her friends, she stayed pretty close to for the most part. I know for a fact that we don’t chose who we fall for at all because my life would be completely different if we did or could which is why it bothers me so much when people say gay people chose to be gay because that’s not true. Yes it is a choice to act on your feelings but it’s not a choice to be head over heels for someone, it just happens. For me, it’s almost completely a personal thing for me to like someone. I need to love your personality before I love you as a whole and there aren’t really any exceptions. In relationships for the future, I am looking for not only a good connection but a good understanding of each other and a great deal maturity, I’ve been told by multiple people that I am more socially mature than most people my age and I need someone to compliment that. I am looking for a healthy relationship since my last two were the farthest from it. No relationships are perfect no matter what but a “perfect” relationship to me would be two mature people who can sit down and talk through an argument without slamming things around, screaming, cursing, belittling, or hitting each other. Perfection would be being with someone who makes you a better version of yourself without changing who you are and pushes you out of your comfort zone without pushing too much and knowing when to stop. That’s a big thing for me, you have to know when to stop and just agree to disagree with anything. I learned about love from television mostly, and my older sister who hasn't ever even been in love but we still talked about it. I was never taught about love growing up, especially not love with girls because according to my father that’s just not possible for me.
ReplyDeleteMy parents were never the ideal couple, no matter what stage of their relationship you look at. They aren’t good together and I don’t think they should be together no matter how many “good days” they have. Not one person in my family has been a good example of a healthy relationship for me, my siblings, or their kids which is why I think it keeps repeating. Everyone is either dating someone literally insane or they’re the insane one. My aunt is the only one who doesn’t deal with anything and I remember her dating all these guys and as soon as they showed any sign of something that didn’t meet her standards she dropped them in the blink of an eye. She’s finally getting married on October 28th and I am so happy for her, I believe she’s in a healthy relationship especially compared to everyone else’s in our family. I know that this affects my view on love because I know not to just settle, I know how physically and mentally draining that can be just a year down the road. This is what I will teach my children once they’re old enough to understand and I will use my family as examples of what not to do. I’ll most likely also ask my aunt to talk to them about it and how she was strong enough to wait until she found someone who really deserved her instead of following the pattern that surrounded her.
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