"Where there is love there is life" --Mahatma Ghandi
Well, here we are again...the LOVE blog...
With a twist.
So, here's your scenario--it's 20or so years in the future. You have 2 children, boy and girl. You may have given birth to these kids, adopted them, stolen them from bad homes like I do dogs, whatever--you have them.
Their ages are 12 and 13. Your daughter is older. Both of your kids are, of course, stunningly attractive and have each shown interest in romance (same sex/opposite sex--again, doesn't matter).
Based on your personal experiences, what do you want them to KNOW about love?
Will you tell them?
Will you let them find out on their own?
What are the most important and key pieces of information you want your kids armed with when it comes to notions and ideas about love?
How much of what you tell them will be based on your own experiences?
And finally, where did your own ideas about love come from? Do you think that had anything to do with how you feel about it now?
***PS--this blog was originally written as a story, but it wsn't working out the way I wanted it to, so...***
With a twist.
So, here's your scenario--it's 20or so years in the future. You have 2 children, boy and girl. You may have given birth to these kids, adopted them, stolen them from bad homes like I do dogs, whatever--you have them.
Their ages are 12 and 13. Your daughter is older. Both of your kids are, of course, stunningly attractive and have each shown interest in romance (same sex/opposite sex--again, doesn't matter).
Based on your personal experiences, what do you want them to KNOW about love?
Will you tell them?
Will you let them find out on their own?
What are the most important and key pieces of information you want your kids armed with when it comes to notions and ideas about love?
How much of what you tell them will be based on your own experiences?
And finally, where did your own ideas about love come from? Do you think that had anything to do with how you feel about it now?
***PS--this blog was originally written as a story, but it wsn't working out the way I wanted it to, so...***
Based on my personal experiences I want my kids to know that love takes time. It’s not something that happens in an instant like “love at first sight” is actually lust. I want my kids to know that they are their own and if someone tells them “you’re mine” and they don’t want that, they can leave. You can fall out of love it means it wasn’t the unconditional kind and that they didn’t have all the information. I want my kids to not be focused of finding anybody else until they find themselves. Then they’ll know their preferences and the qualities they want in their significant other and they’ll learn that in time I can’t tell them what to want other than a “good person”, but what does that mean when you can't be in their head. I want my kids to love themselves first and foremost and do what’s right for them. All of this is based off my experience observing adults both happy and unhappy and everywhere in between. Love does require effort, but shouldn’t be forced, you won’t like absolutely everything about the person but it’ll be something like and 80/20 situation. You should know the person before you commit. Your first deep interaction shouldn’t be sextual. You will have to make compromise, but shouldn’t sacrifice your safety, sanity, or physical well being for them. If they love you, you’ll know it cause they’ll actively try to make you happy. Most importantly you want to be happy and love yourself, by yourself, first. Don’t let anyone take your happiness. That is key. I think my ideas of love came from seeing so many people around me in situations or relationships that make them unhappy or they were rushed or were constantly one-sided yearning for someone who was only mildly interested., if at all. I think seeing that and being in some confusing situations or violent ones is that everyone’s first priority should be themselves while they are young or you stunt your growth as a human by giving all of yourself away to someone that doesn’t deserve it. When your older and you’ve been friends with someone for a while and you’ve seen their ups and downs; you know them outside of a romantic context, then you can decide if you truly want to be with them. I want my kids to be happy overall and there are plenty of things I’m sure they’ll run into before I can inform them, but I just want them to enjoy themselves and smile when they look in the mirror and feel loved. I want them to be able to come to me with their questions and feel safe not attacked. I believe that if you provide kids with a safe environment full of love that’s when they grow and if I lead by example they’ll observe and see that love is by no means perfect, but it’s real and it doesn’t need to be romantic or labeled by anything. Love is love, you can love your friends, you could be in love with a person and you want to be with them, etc. etc., but you can’t make people do anything they don’t want to do. You have control over you and you only and you need to learn to love yourself and grow into someone who is kind and that takes a long time sometimes. Romance isn’t all life has to offer. Ugh I feel like I’m a little everywhere but I just want my kids to be happy and healthy and safe.
ReplyDeletewhen I say "deep interaction" I mean like anytime you have to give a little part of you to someone ; that's a deep interaction and some people can do things like that and feel nothing, but I can't.
DeleteAs of today I’ve never been in love. The only love I have is what I feel for my family and friends. I can give my son or daughter advice my parents have given me but since I have yet to experience it for myself, I don’t know how much help I can be. Hopefully by the time I have kids I will have experienced love but who knows. Love is not an instant first sight type of thing. Love is not what the movies make it out to be. Love takes time and is not as easy as it seems. Love takes sacrifice, collaboration, cooperation, and two people willing to do those things. A lot of people think because they really like someone that means they love them but there’s a big difference. You can’t force love nor can you jump into it. Love can be one sided so that’s one thing you have to be careful about. Love is intense. You’ll feel a deep sense of affection for someone and that is the start to feeling love. I would tell my kids all of this but experience is the only thing that will actually help them learn. After informing them of all this I will let them experience this for themselves. All of my ideas of love come from my parents. My parents definitely have their ups and downs but are deeply and truly in love with each other and have been for over twenty years.
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ReplyDeleteOh geez, another blog that's going to put me in my bag for the rest of the day...
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't know much about love. I'm still sort of learning as I go. There isn't a true definition of love either, true love is different for everyone. Although, if we fast forward into the future and I had to teach my children anything about love, I would tell them how love isn't just a feeling. Love is like an unconditional commitment you are willing to make for someone throughout their flaws and imperfections. It's a decision you make and a moral promise in a way. Love is when someone else's happiness is just as important as your own. I would also teach them the difference between "like" and "love" by reading off one of my favorite quotes (supposedly from Buddha but many say that's false so I'm not positive of the true owner of this quote) "When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily." This is a really good way to portray the difference between liking something and loving something, and the easiest way to differ between the two is the effort that is put in. Aside from me telling them, I will also let them experience it on their own. My parents have told me about love (very briefly) and it's hard to fully understand without going through it for yourself. For then they do go through it, I want them to be prepared for the highs and the lows. Love is very powerful and although it's an amazing feeling, it can hurt just as bad. I want them to know that this is what love does and even though it may hurt, it's only making them stronger. I'll also tell them that if they're giving it their all, and it still doesn't seem enough; then they're giving it to the wrong person. I learned this from my parents. Their love was never true and they knew it. They tried to stick through it but that only drove them farther apart. Eventually, the love they attempted to force wore off and left two emotionless bodies. I want to save my children from this. I want them to know that love isn't and cannot be forced. You can't go out and find love, it comes to you when it's ready.
Since the only REAL talk I've had about love with my parents started off like, "Well when two people love each other very much..." everything else that I know came from what I learned though my own experiences. Then again, I owe a lot of what I know today from someone who is unbelievably special to me. If you would've asked me these questions a year and a half ago, I wouldn't have half of the knowledge I do today, all thanks to them. (I also would've said that there was no chance I'd ever be headass in love, but I guess people change) Therefore a lot of my answers come from the things I have learned over time and the way I feel today.
**Disclaimer: I'm actually afraid of kids.. they are scary as hell and I'm not sure if I am fit to deal with the teenage attitudes of the little a-holes.**
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Delete“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (I love this verse so much that I have a hoodie with it printed on the back).
ReplyDeleteI want my children to know that love comes naturally. I often hear people say, “if you really love somebody, you have to fight for that person.” I really don’t think so. If you need to “fight” for someone’s love, it’s not worth having. That’s not even love, it’s half ass love. It’s not the real thing. Love feels easy. It just flows, and everything comes naturally. Where there is love, there is no need for control, no need for fixing the other person, no need for judgment, criticism, jealousy, blame or any other toxic behaviors. Love is love, and that’s all there is to it. True love is not just a feeling, either. It’s a never ending commitment to someone you want the best for and who wants the best for you. Therefore, being the best for eachother.
Commitment is what allows relationships to not only exist, but to thrive. The problem with our world today is that so many people are afraid of commitment; the reason being that commitment is harder than love. A lot harder. Love can just happen to you, but commitment is a choice. Think about it: let’s say you love working out. It is a choice to wake up every morning and go to the gym, no matter how early it is or how tired you are. It may feel easy at first to continue with such a routine, especially when you love it, but it will get tiring. Your body will begin to feel weak, and there are so many other things you could be doing that would cut into your gym schedule, like sleeping in for example, but you stay with it because you like the idea of being fit. As time goes on, you quit waking up each morning and carrying out your routine. You still like the idea of being fit, but not enough to keep waking up each morning and putting your all into it. Now, let’s say you’re in a relationship with someone and you decide early on that you’re committed to them. It is a choice to wake up each morning and be honest with them, remain loyal to them, and love them with everything in you. It seems easy at first but, as unfair it is, with love comes pain. As the relationship continues, you will come to bumps in the road. There will be arguments, there will be disagreements, and there will be hurt. Love is very powerful and although it's an amazing feeling, it can hurt just as bad. You will need to push through/over these bumps for the relationship to continue on. Let’s say you decide give up, and that the bumps in the road were too much for you. You end the relationship, which is ending your commitment. You may still love the person, and love the idea of spending your life with that person, but not enough be able to push through the ups and downs that come with being in the relationship. The problem with this is, you committed because you felt so much love for that person early on, forgetting that commitment means wanting to be with them whether you feel that love all the time or not. The question I would ask my children as they get older and start getting into the dating stage is: are you looking for love, or are you looking for a strong, healthy, growing relationship? Love and relationships are different, to me. I believe you can’t have a good relationship without love, but love alone will not give you a good relationship. We’re brainwashed into thinking that love is magically switched on by some transformative thing, like a kiss from a prince and, once it’s switched on , love can never be switched off again. We all grew up thinking this was how it is, when really, it’s much more complex than that. True love is the genuine desire to spend your life with someone despite their flaws and giving that person your all no matter how hard things/life gets.
(cont.) I don’t have any memory of my dad telling me anything about love, but my mom has had talks with me about it. My mom knew my dad had his issues involving alcohol before she decided to say yes to marrying him, which she admits was not the smartest thing she’s done. She thought she could fix him, only learning that it was impossible. This taught me that, no matter how much you love somebody, you cannot fix them, and I want my children to know that. This has helped me with knowing when someone is toxic to me and my growth, and I’m more than proud of myself for growing so mature in that sense. Everything else I wish to tell my children about love, I learned from falling in love with Kayla. It happened so naturally, and the timing was right for both of us. If either of us had been less ready or willing to commit to each other, our relationship might never have even been one to begin with. Yeah, we’re young and are still growing, but everything happened so perfectly and our love is so pure. We’ve been through so much together that it feels like we’ve been together for decades; these decades being full of love as well as pain. It’s all worth it in the end because I have someone who only wants the best for me and only wants to see me smile and grow as a person, and that’s love. I would not have been able to answer these blog questions so thoroughly if it wasn’t for what Kayla and our relationship has taught me. I’m more than thankful for her and the beautiful bond we’ve built and I’m so happy to be in love at such a young age. I want a lifetime full of love, laughs, corny jokes, goofiness, hardcore pillow fights, movie nights, and so much more with her and I know she’s willing to push through the pain that comes with all of these great things with me in order for our relationship to grow even stronger.
DeleteSo here it is, the word “love”, I feel like I’ve heard that word a lot lately and each time I hear it is just seems to get better and better. My experiences with love have been a train wreck of false emotions, but have i loved before? I believe I’ve loved people before but like my last OP said none of the people i've loved have loved me back. How many people have i loved? I believe you love 3 people in life. the first, it's childish and petty and ya really don't know what your doing. The second, you are more attracted to a person then you should, it doesn’t feel real. The third, is better than ever, feelings are mutual, it’s happy, it’s real. My first OP also happened to be about love and i mentioned the fact that i wanted to have “a lot like theirs (my grandmom and grandfather)” for my kids to have a good view on the subject. I want my kids to know what love looks like before they can experience it and if they were ever to have questions about it they could base it off me and my spouse. I feel as if I’m good at advice about this but I figured it all out on my own, so my kids should able to as well along with some assistance by her parents. for future reference my kids will know, “that real love takes time, and it’s something to be scared of but if it’s real it will feel so right”
ReplyDeleteLoving and caring are almost interchangeable for me. I love unconditionally and sometimes it ends up hurting me. To begin, I would set no boundaries for my children when it comes to who they love (except maybe an age boundary). I want my kids to be happy, whether they are gay, or just with someone who comes from a different background (racially, religiously, economically, ect.). The first thing I’d want them to know is that part of loving someone is excepting some of their flaws, it’s just a matter of how many flaws you can except until you realize that maybe they’re not the person for you. I think it’s important to surround yourself with people who look at the world differently than you do, or who have come from a different place, it teaches you a lot about the world. My boyfriend and I have some different views, some the same. Early in our relationship I had to make a choice, to accept it or to end it. Ultimately I decided that our differences in opinion were unimportant to me. I’m glad I made that decision because I’m happier than I’ve ever been. The most important thing is that when it comes to being in a relationship we both want the same thing. You cannot pursue a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to be in one, and that was tough to learn, as much as it may seem like common sense.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand there of been guys that I cut too much slack. If you find yourself constantly making excuses for a guy, or trying to convince yourself that things are gonna work out, or constantly stressing, he’s not the one. But it took me a while to learn this. Sometimes you have to get your heart broken in order to appreciate a good relationship and know what you deserve. I struggled for months over one boy in particular and it fucked me up. Friends noticed it and they tried to help me and I refused. Next thing I knew I was losing friends. It was a terrible situation but I had to get through to figure some stuff out. For that reason, I’m not going to try to protect my son or daughter from someone, as much as I’d want to, they may just need to learn the lesson themselves. Because personally I didn’t like being told who I can and cannot be with.
I will be open with my children. I think I respect my mom more than my father because she’s open and she tells me about her life and her childhood, as opposed to my dad who tries to rule with an iron fist. I want to tell my daughter all about my teenage years, the crazy late nights, the boys who drove me crazy. And I want to tell my son how he should treat a girl- in a way, I feel like I’ve already though. I’m teaching my little brother about love. I tell him what he needs to know and things that he’s curious about. I tell him when there are red flags in his relationship but I don’t tell him to break up with her even if he should, because if I did that he wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to me anymore. Everyone needs someone to talk to. I tell him about my past relationships and my current one. I tell him what’s normal and what’s not okay. He’s thirteen and he FaceTimes this girl every night. I want him to be the best boyfriend a thirteen year old boy can be. But I also don’t want him to be naïve and I don’t want him to get hurt, because if I’ve learned anything it’s this: hurt people hurt people.
My ideas on love change rapidly. From love songs and TV, I have learned what a “perfect” relationship looks like. From my mother I have learned never to depend solely on a man. From my past I have learned what I shouldn’t have to put up with. And everything and anything else I probably learned from Rayelle who is my best friend, older sister, and mom all in one.
Love is a beautiful thing when it’s healthy, deadly when it’s not. Kinda like milk, it’s good for you until it goes bad.
I’ve never been in love the closest I’ve been to love is watching Nicolas Sparks movies. Love always seems so hard but as in the movies it all works out in the end. But that’s not reality love can be amazing yet it can be heart wrenching. When I grow up and have kids I would tell them about my experiences with love to show them that it’s not all sunny skies and red roses though it’s going threw the rollercoaster of life together. With that being said some things are left better for them to find out on their own while me praying that they will never know. One key piece of advice I would tell my kids would be make sure the love is fifty fifty and that they treat you the way you should be treated. I’ve seen someone give everything to a relationship to find that the other person could careless and it nearly destroyed them. Most of the love I’ve seen has been in movies and other people but by time my kids are born I would have hoped to fallen in love and be able to share personal advice until then it’s up to Hallmark movies. I think my original idea of love came from the way dad and his twin brother bonded. They are best friends two peas in a pod they just get each other. I guess it is from years of growing up together and people getting confused who’s who but what they have is admirable. They help each other and are always one phone call away not to mention they text all the time about running. Even though it’s not a romantic love it’s still love and to me love is the undeniable bond you have with someone.
ReplyDeleteSo in all honesty, I haven’t been in love. This will probably result in a short-er response than the ones above me, but I still have views and thoughts about love in general (obviously).
ReplyDeleteAs far as what I will tell my kids about love, I’d tell them things that they can’t learn from experience First and foremost, I’ll always let them know that they can love whoever they love no matter what anyone else says. Unless someone tells them this, there’s no way for a teenager to think it’s true.
On the other hand, I’ll let them experience the ins and outs of relationships. I won’t warn them of heartbreak because why put that in their head? There’s not really a way to avoid it, so if I tell my daughter that she’s going to get her heart broken, she’s going to expect it and may end up doing something to break her own heart. If I don’t tell them, I’d just wait and have to recover their feelings afterward.
My thoughts are a Frankenstein creation of observing my friends relationships, my parents relationships, and the ones found in the media. Overall, they are pretty positive views with the knowledge of the inevitable.
Even though I would choose to not tell my kids certain things about love, if they ask, I’d obviously tell them. I don’t see myself being a mom that just ~lets~ their children go through the world blind, but I also don’t want to hold their hand the entire way.
Love is a beautiful thing. Just like kids love their parents, they can feel love for others. Love is nothing to look at as trivial, especially when to comes to teenagers. To them, this love is as real as the love they feel for their parents. Unfortunately, many of us are not mature enough to deal with the emotional rollercoaster we will feel when in love at such a young age. Some may feel that their entire life revolves around a particular person and that person is the most important person in their lives; I understand that this person is your significant other but that kind of gets annoying in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI would talk to my kids about love, but with a few messages. They must love themselves, this will make sure that no man or women will make them feel as if they are nothing in the relationship, if so, I’m coming with my hands. Love is a natural feeling that matures over time, as you get older, they will truly experience love. They have the rest of their lives to love. When they are young, they should enjoy life and have fun without being pinned down to one person. Have friends, both girls and boys, get involved in different activities, study hard and enjoy life.
Growing up, my parents showered me with a lot of love, sometimes too much, but there’s no such thing when it comes to them. Yeah, I had plenty of friends but I was never really was in love with anyone. Of course I thought some boys were cute and admired them like they were personally hand crafted by God himself but did not love them. I have been involved in a lot and have so much on my plate that I never think I have the time to go out and experience. I really never think about it because sometimes I think I’ll never find love until I’m like 50, but a good part of me knows when I get older I will find the right guy, who plays no games & knows what he’s doing with his life, and experience true love. I guess these thoughts and feelings will influence how I talk to my kids in the future.
I’d probably tell my kids that love is one of the greatest things to ever experience. When you take a step back and truly appreciate the love from family and friends it can make your whole day better. That sort of love usually will never change. I believe the truest love will come from a parent or a friend. They give you love without the benefits and they love you only because you are yourself. Hell, some family will love you even when you treat them like crap (sorry mom). I'm eternally grateful for the love I have in my family. However, the first love you should experience is self love. I’d never tell my kids that if they don't love themselves they can't love anyone else because that's not true; but if you don't love yourself, you allow people who don't love you properly to stay in your life. You allow a person to treat you the wrong way because you love them more than you love and respect yourself, and that love eventually becomes poisoned. One thing that I will definitely make sure to tell my kids are that love isn't what hurts, people who don't know how to love you the right way are what hurt you. Sometimes those “people” can be yourself. We all make mistakes, even when it comes to loving someone. It gets easy to become caught up and let things go the wrong way and then you get hurt. They should never be afraid of love, it will brighten your days and your aura. Pure love will make everything feel easy, it will weave its way into your world but you'll never want it to go away. Love is probably one of the best things to experience as a person; it should be cherished and protected forever. My kids will know that for sure.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I want to tell my kids all I know about love or if I want them to have their own definition of love. My parents never really told me much about it.. and they aren't really the best examples, so I just sort of went about my life not thinking too much about love. I happened across stories online and books about people falling in love and dealing with all kinds of relationships and challenges and I eventually ended with this movie version of love in my head. It helped me know what I wanted but not how to get it and keep it. Now thanks to social media and personal experiences, I have a better understanding of “good” love, “bad” love, and better ways to go about relationships. Knowing that I think I'll try to find a balance of the two, I’ll be there to help my kids and guide them whenever they need me to but for the most part I'll let them go do what they do as long as they aren't too buckwild and putting themselves or others at risk. Even though it’s painful, the best way to learn about anything- especially love and relationships- is experience.
Being a teen is when you explore what love is. Some fall sooner than others, but we all have our moments of what we think love is. For me, I’m still trying to figure it out. Love isn’t something that you can teach anyone because everyone has different thoughts and views about it. As of the future and me having kids I would want them to know about loving their family. And for loving others in a relationship perspective I wouldn’t expect them to know anything. Love is a feeling that everyone explains differently. I picture it as an obstacle you have to figure out yourself. My kids will know very little about love except when I tell them about the day I meant their dad or if I ever had that “love at first sight” moment. If my children ever had questions about love then I would answer them based off my personal experiences because that’s all I know. My own ideas about love come from a previous relationship and songs. I don’t want to get into my previous relationship but I know that it was true love. I just messed it up and now have to pay for it which is a long story. It definitely affects the way I feel about it now. It made me sensitive because I used to be an unemotional bitch, but now in some situations I cry my eyeballs out. Overall love is a strong feeling that only you can explain and feel for yourself. Nobody can guide you through it and hold your hand every step of the way. It’s hard for a lot of people and will take time. Everything happens for a reason.
ReplyDeleteIt may be weird, but I love love (yes, I'm actually 'That" person). I honestly don't want children, though, at all. Buuuuuuut, I guuuuuuueeeeessssss, if I did have children, I would want them to understand that they should make sure their partner is kind, loving, and loyal, and overall a good person who treats them well. AND TO NEVER BE DESPERATE! You don't understand HOW MANY FRIENDS I HAVE who complain to me EVERYDAY about being LONELY AND DESPERATE FOR A BOYFRIEND. Every single conversation is always, "I wish I had a cute boyfriend, I'm so lonely and honestly desperate." I understand that it can be lonely, but complaining about it and becoming desperate it probably the worst two things to ever resolve to doing. And complaining about it to your friend everyday is also making things worse for them, JUST SAYING. I don't really think I learned about love or how to love from my parents, because they have quite a different view of love than I do. I might have just been self-taught somehow, I don't exactly know. But I'm happy love is real, is all I really have to say.
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing for them to know is that, no matter the situation, love is blinding. It is also great, it is fulfilling, but it, just as easily, can be horrifically devastating. When you love someone you can’t think straight, you can’t look at the bigger picture and clearly distinguish right from wrong. It is so easy to make excuses for the people you love, especially romantically, and let their shortcomings be rationalized “because you love them” or “because they love you”. Besides the emotional wreckage that is guaranteed with love, it is liberating. To feel love for something makes you genuinely happy which can be hard to achieve otherwise. But to have that love returned, especially at the same extent, it can be exhilarating. Love can be electric, but it can also break you. You can’t choose that, you can’t avoid it either. Both are most likely going to happen which is why you need to be prepared. I would tell my kids this even though I know they probably wouldn’t take me as seriously and as literally as I mean it. I would still tell them because I feel that’s my responsibility. If nothing else I would say love is nothing like it seems or like you’d expect. Everything I tell them would be based on my experience because what else can I know. What I tell them will be from what I’ve gone through and felt because I don’t know anything else, I can’t explain something I don’t know. I think my original ideas about love came from witnessing what my parents have gone through together and watching movies/tv. I know my parents love each other but I do not believe they should still be together, not in this world or any other. This proved to me that love can be so extremely durable but that doesn’t mean it should be tested to the extent it can stretch to and that doesn’t mean it should survive. They showed me that two people can love each other so much but despite the love they share, they should not be together.
ReplyDeleteBased on my experiences I want my seeds to know that love is many things, it can be confusing at times, it can be rewarding at times, it can be almost anything you want it to be and anything you don’t want it to be. You just gotta do what makes you happy and do what makes them happy and go with the flow.
ReplyDeleteNah I’m letting my seeds learn about love on their own no need for pops to tell what’s up when they gonna know themselves sooner or later they got it. Well actually that’s for my son for my daughter maybe some little things here and there but they got it.
The most important things I want them to be armed with is, that love is a rollercoaster your gonna have your ups and downs but if you guys can stick through, then you’ll be fine.
How much I will tell them? I will tell them as much as they ask me.
A little bit of parent’s, cousin’s friend’s and especially a previous ex. Yeah they do.
I’ve never been in love so I guess I’ll answer this as best I can. I really do not want kids (I know you’re probably thinking ooohhh they all say that but I really do not). But if I hypothetically had kids I would tell them to just go with their gut. I don’t believe in people that are meant to be or if it’s meant to be it will just magically happen on its own with the power of fairy dust and unicorns. That is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. Things happen and opportunities arise and if you want something (or someone in this case) you have to seize the opportunity or you might live in regret forever. And from my experience regret is one of the worst feelings you can endure. You can get done dirty over and over again but eventually it will stop hurting. Regret stays forever and you will always be wondering about “what if”. This is why I believe trust is very important in a relationship. If you naturally don’t trust anyone or are in that usual post-breakup mentality of “trust no bitch” then you will only find misery. At least if someone is not worthy of your trust and does you dirty then now you know that person didn’t deserve you and you can cut them from your life which brings you one step closer to someone who does deserve you. But if you don’t trust someone who is a good person than this can lead to problems and eventually losing that person. So my advice to them is to embrace love with open arms and don’t look back. But don’t be reckless either. Don’t go out and try to turn a hoe into a housewife or you will feel dumb afterwards.
ReplyDeleteI would let them do their thing on their own. If you try to force them into a conversation without them being comfortable they won’t listen to you anyway. If they are having trouble and they come to me for help I will gladly give them advice. But I can’t baby them through everything since they must adapt on their own. And of course most of my advice will be from my own experience. I would hope I actually fall in love by then and have better advice to give them. Most of my ideas about love come from my experiences and it had changed and shifted throughout my life. And of course it has shaped how I view it now. And my views most certainly will change as my life goes on. I just hope it has a happy ending.