A New Day...Changes, Choices and Chills..It's All Relative
It's about that time. April Showers, Spring Flowers and Death Month...(one of those things is not like the others...), but anyway...
Reading over previous postings and thinking about what I know about each of you individually offered me an insightful glimpse into a collective (group) psyche.
Most, if not all, of you have two fundamental fears: 1, the idea of change and/or 2, the possibility of making the "wrong" choice.
Now, I know that there are plenty of people who will tell me that the idea of change, especially if it includes a change of scenery from sunny Mays Landing to just about anywhere else would be welcomed with open arms and a huge, block-lettered sign. But, despite the wanderlust or pre-"senioritis" that you have all felt creeping in on you, you have to admit that, at its core, change is a scary proposition. After all, the intrinsic nature of change is that of the unknown, the unchartered, the unfamiliar, and the unrevealed (technically, those are pseudo-synonyms but...meh).
So, if you are one of the restless souls who yearns for change--what is it about it that is so appealing to you?
What do you hope the changes you want to seek out, to undergo or to witness will mean for you, your future, your life?
On the other hand, if you are one who double locks the door when change comes a-knockin', tell me what it is about the prospect of it that fightens you. What do you think might happen?
Ahhh...you thought you were done...we're not done...oh no...onward...
Now, one of Change's many dance partners is Choice. (figurative language--specifically, implied metaphor)
Right/wrong, smart/stupid, bad/ good..choice exists and you are confronted with the notion of it every single day. Sometimes, these are choices of epic proportions--break-up or stay together; cut class to get that paper done or suck it up and take a zero; confront the back-stabbing friend or let it go; get high just this once or walk away never knowing; and sometimes it can be as inconsequential as chicken patty or PBJ.
Either way, your mind has a process it undergoes when you have to make a choice. Tell me about it.
Do your weigh all your options and consider possible outcomes,
or do you dive in and hope the water isn't too cold?
I think I am mix-metaphoring myself into a corner here--but I know you know what I mean. When you are confronted with a choice--how do you make it? And, more importantly, why?
Reading over previous postings and thinking about what I know about each of you individually offered me an insightful glimpse into a collective (group) psyche.
Most, if not all, of you have two fundamental fears: 1, the idea of change and/or 2, the possibility of making the "wrong" choice.
Now, I know that there are plenty of people who will tell me that the idea of change, especially if it includes a change of scenery from sunny Mays Landing to just about anywhere else would be welcomed with open arms and a huge, block-lettered sign. But, despite the wanderlust or pre-"senioritis" that you have all felt creeping in on you, you have to admit that, at its core, change is a scary proposition. After all, the intrinsic nature of change is that of the unknown, the unchartered, the unfamiliar, and the unrevealed (technically, those are pseudo-synonyms but...meh).
So, if you are one of the restless souls who yearns for change--what is it about it that is so appealing to you?
What do you hope the changes you want to seek out, to undergo or to witness will mean for you, your future, your life?
On the other hand, if you are one who double locks the door when change comes a-knockin', tell me what it is about the prospect of it that fightens you. What do you think might happen?
Ahhh...you thought you were done...we're not done...oh no...onward...
Now, one of Change's many dance partners is Choice. (figurative language--specifically, implied metaphor)
Right/wrong, smart/stupid, bad/ good..choice exists and you are confronted with the notion of it every single day. Sometimes, these are choices of epic proportions--break-up or stay together; cut class to get that paper done or suck it up and take a zero; confront the back-stabbing friend or let it go; get high just this once or walk away never knowing; and sometimes it can be as inconsequential as chicken patty or PBJ.
Either way, your mind has a process it undergoes when you have to make a choice. Tell me about it.
Do your weigh all your options and consider possible outcomes,
or do you dive in and hope the water isn't too cold?
I think I am mix-metaphoring myself into a corner here--but I know you know what I mean. When you are confronted with a choice--how do you make it? And, more importantly, why?
I can’t wait for spring (Real spring). Good things always happen to me in the spring and that has been consistent for several years. Good changes always happen to me. But speaking of changes I really think I am both fearful of change and curious of change. I am fearful of leaving. Graduating. Moving on to college and going into the real world where I don’t really know what’s going to happen. But strangely at the same time I want to see what’s there. What path I will take. The experiences I will have. The people I will meet. How I myself will change for the better. I want to see it all.
ReplyDeleteI used to meticulously go over every outcome in my head of every situation and it often led me to stress and to not take chances. Though that habit sometimes still creeps up on me in times of stress and at relative lows in my life, when I am at a high and confident I just dive right into decisions. I use my gut instinct to make decisions because I want to to what makes me happy and what I think is worth it. It just feels so much better when you head straight on into a decision without thinking and feeling confident that you made the right decision and knowing you can deal with the consequences if things go awry. It is empowering in a way and makes me feel like I have control of my life. So that is what I will do during this spring season that has often given me good times and happiness.
Whenever I think of change i always think, “Things change, people change, feelings change too” a song by PartyNextDoor/ Drake. It states a fact that everything changes, and with change comes opportunities or better/ worse situations; regardless, everything happens for a reason. I’m a person that loves change, after it happens, before it happens, I’ll run. Noticing change makes me happy: like when it finally goes from winter to spring and all the flowers start to bloom and everything gets more colorful, than when it goes from summer to fall and it gets cooler out. I wanna see so much change in the world, but in order for that to happen I have to make it happen, to be the change I wish to see in the world. I need to be happy to see others happy. Within the next year and a half till I graduate so much will happen, but when i graduate, i know nothing will be the same. I'll change when I go into the military, I’ll change when I get married and have kids, and so much will change it scares me to think of right now.
ReplyDelete“Make the right choices”, “don't do anything stupid”, “be smart about the choices you make”, all things we've grown up hearing. But what actually makes something a good choice? Who knows. Going off the metaphor the blog gave us about jumping into a cold pool and weighing options, i tend to splash around and jump right in, if that makes sense. It takes me a while to figure out what's right for me, but as soon as I do, it’s like the whole world is going right.
I yearn for change but to an extent. I both fear change but also really need and want it. I’ve spent so much of my life somewhere I don’t want to be with people I don’t want to be around. I want to change but ive spent so much time where I am I don’t know anything else. I want to meet new people. Start new, start over and re introduce myself to the world. I was offered the possibility to work in a different state for two months at a camp. Where I only know one person and get to introduce myself to a whole new group of people where they have no idea who I am and what to think about me. In a way that excites me but it also scares me. Its not often people just don’t like me. I don’t talk enough for that. Most of the time by the time they know some information on me the school year is over and they forget. Im scared of being hated and avoided. In order to decide something I either, think about it just myself and spend my entire life thinking,crying and getting angry with myself for not being able to make my own decision. Probably stop trying to make the decision because I get anxious or depressed. Or I do the right thing and bring my crossroads to my mom,friends and God. I tend to become less stressed out when I talk to God first and then talk to my friends and family. I am really indecisive and often don’t make good decisions on my own.
ReplyDeleteChange for me at the moment would mean freedom. I'm not exactly all for change, I'm kind of inbetween. It all depends on what changes, as well as what and who it effects. The change I really want right now but is so far away from me if my freedom. Everday I'm trapped, the only real place where I'm more free is at school. I want to move out as soon as I'm legally allowed to, then I can no longer be caged in and chained to this hellhole. I can make my own decisions, I can have my own, true opinions, I can experience things I've always wanted to experience. Change can be bad, but it can also be a glorious thing.
ReplyDeleteMore often than not, I overthink my options and what might happen for each one that I choose. An example being at lunch today, I went to the Snack Shack thingy in the cafeteria to get some food and saw little buckets of these chicken strip lookin' thingies. I got all excited and so pUMPED TO EAT MY CHICKEN STRIPS. So I asked the cashier for the chicken strip thingies, and she told me they were mozerella sticks. Within a few nanoseconds I quickly thought, "I thought they were chicken strips. If I tell her no thanks, that means I'll be holding up the line for an extra few seconds and people will get mad at me. If I DO just buy the mozerella sticks and act like I actually meant to buy them, that'll save me and everyone time and I won't look like a total weirdo."
The mozerella sticks were absolutely disgusting, just so you know, and a waste of money, apparently. About $3.00 for 4 cruddy, room-temperature mozerella sticks.
I yearn for change because I like to imagine and experience the positive aspects that come out of it, but at the same time, I’m afraid of missing out on things I had already had before the change process occurred. For example, when I moved from Victoria Crossing to Egg Harbor City about a year ago, I didn’t know how to go about it or feel. I had a whole group of friends I grew up with in Victoria Crossing, and I knew every shortcut through the woods, where every weird, old cat lady lived, and where the go-to houses were on Halloween night. At the same time, the house we planned to move into (the one I’m in now) is so much bigger and so much nicer, but no one I know lives in the neighborhood. After moving, I realized there was no reason to fear the change at all. Being isolated from my normal community of people felt somewhat refreshing. I could walk my dog in my pajama pants without worrying about anyone walking by or looking out of their window and seeing me, and I could go for runs without worrying about the same things.
ReplyDeleteWhile living in my house in Victoria Crossing, my mom, more than a few years prior to moving, had always talked about how much she wanted to move. I had always said I wanted to, too, for the reason that I was not a fan of William Davies Middle School nor did I put myself out there enough to feel involved, I should say. I wanted change, but as I grew a few years older I drew away from that idea and, looking back now, I’m not sure why. All in all, I believe that the choices we make lead us down a whole different path than that of which we were traveling down prior. I also believe that change is a huge part of our growth, and acknowledging that along with challenging yourself is a huge step in the growth process.
I hate change...well, not all the time. I prefer things to stay the same when there’s absolutely nothing wrong. For example this annoying class schedule. As someone who takes multiple AP classes, it causes more confusion and frustration than anything else. From “what day is it today?” to “the other class is two days behind so we can’t do anything today” is always an annoyance. Also sitting in a room for a whole hour is too long. The 45 minutes was a perfect amount of time; you didn’t get too antsy but you could still get a lot done. I feel like it was an absolutely irrelevant change to Oak. I also hate change when I reminisce on how things use to be. Like going to the same class everyday at the same time and not dreading C day everytime it rolls around like I am now was sadly taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteI don’t mind change when it is for the right reasons. If someone is not happy, they need to change their life. If a system has proven not to work, it needs to be altered. If someone feels unsafe or unstable, something needs to change. When it is for the betterment of others, is when change is necessary (in my eyes). I also think that if someone feels that they need a change in scenery, a change in routine, or even a change in lifestyle, they should very well go ahead and test the waters; keep life interesting.
As far as me when I make a decision I always look for the “what if’s” and how the choice would affect me or others. The “what if” questions normally stem from my intense anxiety so I try to not factor them in too, too much. Then I think of what will benefit me or a reason for me doing whatever it is then I weigh it out with the cons. Now of course this whole process only happens when I have time to decide. Other times, I’m very impulsive. If something seems right at the moment and I can’t think of any cons in the short amount of time I have to think, I more than likely choose my gut instinct.
All in all, I prefer to weigh benefits versus loses when I make any decision or make any changes. Most often, I make good choices and I find that my bad choices come from when I don’t think and just react.
I like change , my life is so repetitive it’s actually scary ! Change for me just seems a lot closer to happiness. I long for it , i’m not really sure what i expect to happen I just know that whatever it is it’s better then this. I just believe that it’s HAS to be. That’s the only thing that keeps me going ! The idea of things eventually changing for the better . I believe that when hunts finally for once change I’ll be able to actually say I’m happy and mean it .
ReplyDeleteI’ve noticed that I tend to make decisions when I’m upset , but when I’m levelheaded I can be very smart and perceptive of situations. When i make my decisions the first thing i ask my self is if this is really something I wanna do? The next is in 10 Year’s when i look back on the moment will i look at it in regret? Those two questions seem to keep me out of trouble . I sincerely have no interest in ruining my lungs , or my liver. So that outs smoking and drinking ! I honestly don’t think i refuse just because I’m smart , i actually think it’s because i just most of the time have no interest in it .
I’m no goody two shoes I make a lot of mistakes everyday without evens noticing. I seem to be a lot worse at smaller situations then bigger situations. So i make small mistakes hat shouldn’t even be made instead of the big ones that I’m actually supposed to never making and learning from.
On the idea of change I am on both sides of the spectrum. To me sometimes change is good and sometimes it may be bad at times. I don’t yearn for it but sometimes it’s good when it happens and sometimes it needs to happen. I also don’t resist it either, change can be for the better just gotta let it happen. You may not like it at first or at times but it’s change.
ReplyDeleteWhen I make a choice depending on the situation and how heavy the decision may be, I do weigh out all of the possible outcomes that may happen. And when I finally do make a decision and come to a conclusion I try to pick the best one and if that’s not possible I really just go with my gut feeling and go on with life and keep it pushin. The reason I go with this route when I make a choice is because, this way I make the least possible bad decision. I know there was that one time when you thought “let me not listen to my gut feeling”, and you got screwed over maybe heavy. I did that once and never again am going to make that decision again so this is why I make most of my decision this way, gotta take chances though not gonna lie.
Change sucks. I don't know what it is about it but it gives me anxiety like crazy. I like certain change though. Sorta like, rearranging my room or things like that. When the change gets emotional or super personal; I hate it. Believe it or not, I'm a big thinker (yup). I unfortunately OVER think quite often; but keep it to myself. Sometimes so many things are happening at one moment that just the thought of a simple change could make me completely lose it. I'm excited for my future. I'm excited to not have to deal with anything I don't want to.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest change that has happened recently has been a shift in friendships. High school really does change people and most of the time it's not for the best. I experienced the biggest change in who I surround myself with and who I no longer do. Even though I don't like change, I accepted this change. It might've stung a little but it was best.
This might be a shocker (not at all) but I am soooooooo indecisive. I never know anything for sure. The littlest options make my head spin. I'm not sure why but for some reason, it's intense. I like to lay out all of my options when making a decision. For example, how I will feel in the long run. Or maybe how happy I will be if I choose the nuggets over the cheeseburger; things like that. Maybe that's why I'm so indecisive; I overthink the littlest decisions. The world may never know.
Change is change…, sometimes it’s good or bad, you never really know, for the most part change is required in life because things can’t always stay the same, yet the thing about change is that it doesn’t come when you’re prepared for it, which is why at first I’m very quick to shut the door on it. Change causes me the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, but it also helped me see the true colors of those I thought were closest to me. Change is very scary because it rips you from a comfortable place, and exposes you to entire new world with any attempts to return back deemed futile. Change can lead to many choices you’ll have to make. Which you’ll usually always know the right choice, but it’s a very hard one to make. Most of the time I make the choice that is right, but then I regress and go back to how I was before, and it takes me many attempts to finally make a complicated choice. Most simple choices though take a few seconds, I let my brain do all the talking in simple choices, but my heart speaks a lot during the bigger choices which leads to more problems. What you can conclude from all of this, is that I’m an emotional wreck sometimes who can’t choose what’s right and wrong, yet someone how I endure and show up to school almost everyday with some sort of happiness.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to think I welcome change, but more often than not I get cold feet. I like comfort and I know there is no room to grow in the comfort-zone so I tell myself that I should try everything at least once. This does not apply to things that are awful like murder. If it does not harm anybody, except maybe myself, I go for it or just let it happen. I don't surround myself with people I don't like so I usually don't have the opportunity to make to many tough decisions. I usually choose whatever I think is going to make me happy in the long run and I haven't been confronted with a choice yet that doesn't let me creep back into the comfort-zone and relax for a bit. I'd like to think that I'd take the risk, but most of my choices are made in the moment based off "will this make me happy?" "will this hurt anybody?" if I get a no to the first I stop there, if yes I move to the second, but if I get another yes I stop there. If I get a maybe I could go either way or I don't weigh the options and just do it. I like new things, but I've never had to step completely out of my comfort-zone so I truly don't know what my decision would be and I think the only question left would be "am I ready?".
ReplyDeleteMy two biggest fears in life go hand and hand with this blog. One fear of mine is regret and the other is failure. To answer the first question: change scares me when a big decision is involved such as giving up swim or going to college. Making a choice scares the shit out of me. In the back of my head I always ponder the questions Am I going to make the correct choice? Am I going to regret it? What should I do? Its endless and tiring. If you know me you know I try to avoid making decisions at all coast and before I decide I talk to multiple, change my mind multiple times and still come to the same conclusion which is always I don’t know. I haven't always been this way it wasn’t until I was in middle school when my swim coach told me that he regretted a decision he made until he was in his thirties ever since then I've been terrified of regret. I don’t know what's worse beating myself up for months about one decision or living with regret. So I guess you can say I don’t particularly like making decisions. Honestly I have had this one question in my head for over a year about swim and if I should continue rehab with my back. I've shed so many tears over it and still don’t know how to make a decision. I need to learn how to make a choice and be okay with it. So clearly I don’t have the answer to that question all I can say is that it’s a work in progress.
ReplyDeleteI am the type of person that likes change but is scared of it in some aspects if that makes sense. For example I have been wanting to cut my hair for so long now but I'm too scared to change it I don't want to miss my hair I don't want to look different. Like I think it will look cute but I'm just too scared I won't like it. As for change when it comes to emotions and the people you surround yourself with, I'm a supporter in that. I feel as though you should always be happy and surround yourself with positive people which is something I have gotten better at this year. I feel like depending on the situation depends whether I decide to weigh all my options or not. When it comes to doing homework and staying up late usually I chose to go to sleep because that is something my mom always tells me. She says don't stress over it and get some rest but at times I need to get stuff done such as this right now. When it comes to me losing my cool, I weigh my options. This week has really been testing me but I chose to keep quite and remain on track because I have better things that I need to look forward to than being wrapped up in situations that don;t deserve my attention. I will do as I please when I please. I know how to keep my cool especially if its over something or someone that does not even deserve my time. Me doing this prepares me for the future because I will maintain my reputation and continue to keep my cool because it will only be better for me in the future. As someone important to me recently said "You're going to succeed. You're going to be something special." I think about the future a lot and make many of my choices based on what is going to be the most beneficial to me later on down the road. My future is bright and it will continue to stay that way as long as I stay on track and have the amazing people in my life that continue to push me to do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of travel. I love the idea of packing my backs, jumping into my little fiat, and taking off to somewhere with a warm beach. But in reality I only love that idea for a little vacation. When it comes to going to college I don’t even wanna leave the state. Everyone goes on and on about how they hate jersey but I love it here. 20 minuets from the beach, 40 from Philly, and NYC is only a train ride away. This is where my life is. The farthest I’ve moved is from the second floor bedroom to the attic room. I can barley adjust to going to my dads as much as I’m “supposed” to. My support system is here. My mom, my best friend, my boyfriend. Everyone is here. The farthest I want to be from home is Rutgers or Montclair. I get very attached to the people in my life and if anything ever happens where I lose someone that I’m extremely close to, or we have a falling out, it tears me apart and it takes a while for me to adjust. When I go to college I’m going to have to learn how to cope without going to my mom for help with something every five seconds, or get used to not seeing the same people every day. There are also some changes that I like, for example I’ve been to five different dance studios. And as shitty as it sounds I didn’t mind my dad moving out, I thought it was a good change because there was less fighting in the house. Overall I like things to stay the way they are or the way I have them planned out in my head.
ReplyDeleteI consider choices a lot. Usually though, I only consider them after the fact when it’s too late. I’m a big what if person, however I also think it’s better to just dive into things and see what happens because even if you fuck up, you’ll at least have a good story. I often sit and think about the butterfly effect, like for example, what would’ve happened if I didn’t go to Oakcrest, would I still be friends with the same people, would I be a completely different person? The world may never know. As much as I love planning things out, I tend to not think certain decisions through very well. Of course, the only example I can think of is the parties that I had over the summer. In the moment it was a lot of fun because my house was the social hotspot. But now, as much as I hate to regret anything because I like to learn from it or laugh about it, I think this is one thing I regret, people used me and in put my mom in a bad position. On the other hand, I can say that when it comes to boys I one hundred percent overthink the entire thing and over analyze every situation and think about all the possible outcomes. I never realized how backwards my thinking process is until now. I guess certain things just don’t occur to me at first and that’s how lessons are learned.
Change is an inevitable part of life. Some people fear it while others embrace it. We all have thoughts of what we want our lives to be and if things aren't the way we want them to be, we look to change it. Throughout our lives we go through many phases of change. Sometimes we want to change many things, sometimes we want to change one thing and sometimes we are content with where we are in our lives.
ReplyDeleteI for one look forward to change but I admit I am sometimes fearful. At times I like to be spontaneous and try new things but, I know my limits and always stay within my comfort zone. But, with change there are consequences. A change today can have a ripple effect on our future. This is where choice comes into play. The choices we make today will impact our future. As a teenager, our lives are sometimes like a rollercoaster. We have high expectations for success, but sometimes we get overwhelmed with balancing school work, activities, sports and just life in general. In these instances, we have to make the right choices or our lives could change for the worst.
We are in control of how we want our lives to be, now and in the future. We need to ensure we make smart choices because our decisions today will impact our future.
I know change can be liberating yet so horrifically terrifying at the same time. I love change, since I’ve been old enough to every so often I’ll rearrange the furniture in my room and now I’m switching rooms with my brother just for the hell of it. I’m also installing insulation in the walls, painting them, and creating access panels in the walls for my dad in my new room just to have a new look. I hate having to have the same routine over and over again. I find new things interesting which makes me not very good at having/getting good at one specific hobby. Once I get into a routine, most of the time, I get bored and often find myself getting distracted. Within the next few years I hope to gain an immense amount of self control and willpower that I can’t seem to conjure now. I also hope to be able to prioritize much better in order to be much more productive than I am now. When making a choice I do a quick run over of what the possible outcomes are even though no matter what I usually just do what I want despite the possible consequences. I am stubborn and hardheaded and I do what I want because I want to (unless I’m not allowed to, in which case I usually do what I’m told). I sound like a real brat but when it’s insignificant choices or even choices that only involve me and one other person, I do what I want, I scratch that itch, it helps me feel like I’m somewhat in control of my life and I love that.
ReplyDeleteI know that change is inevitable. We change everyday. Nothing now will be the same in 10 years. I understand it and will eventually have to go through it whether I like it or not. I'm ready for a change of scenery. To meet new people and do new things. I'm so tired of the monotonous schedule of each day. Yes, each day holds new things and the activities I do thankfully give me variation; but I feel like I could be doing so much more. I feel like I'm wasting my youth. At the same time, if I take one step off of the path that I've forged for myself at this point, I could lose everything.
ReplyDeleteWhen making choices I like to weigh my options and make sure I won't make the wrong one. In doing this, I end up overthinking and probably bitch out of whatever it I'm contemplating. After a few cycles of this I get pissed off and just pick one or do it. I try to take my time on decisions because I'm definitely one that's scared to make the wrong choice. I treat a majority of my decisions like the world depends on it because to me, they could.
Change for me varies. In some situations I would love change like the seasons changing from cold to warm, but in others it’s my worst nightmare. Some say change is a good thing. It brings you into a new realm and makes you think differently on some situations. For me I’m afraid of changing my life like when I grow older I have more responsibilities and that’s a little overwhelming. But at the same time I can’t wait to move and see where life takes me. I’m a strong believer of the phrase “everything happens for a reason”, so if I disagree on a certain situation I always think of the positive possibilities it can lead me to in the back of my head. I tend to overthink a lot and on top of thinking about a certain situation everyday, I have to think about the outcomes of change and how it would effect me. My brain feels like a disorganized list of pros and cons when I get my mind onto one thing. I have realized that change can hurt and be hard and maybe I’m too scared to take that step, but then in the long run it would be for the best and eventually I would feel better.
ReplyDeleteBeing a high schooler is the last step of your childhood and when I think of that I get excited. I want to grow and travel and study all these things and go on all these adventures, but when I view it in a small perspective I get afraid. Afraid of being far from my friends and family, but mostly friends. I have an amazing group of people in my life right now and to think that one day I’m not going to be able to talk to them everyday or see their faces is scary. That change is big and I don’t know how I’m going to live with it. It’s hard to plan and think something out when you don’t know what it would feel or look like at the end.